My dreams betray me. I dream about children... I've probably dreamed their whole life at this point. My mind went into overdrive - probably the result of just wanting what I can't have.
I also worry about losing my uterus. I hate bleeding... it's come back, and I did it almost nonstop last spring... and gee - after the hysterectomy I won't have to worry about that. But then it's because I'm losing something that makes me a woman. I'll be the broken woman, who can't give my husband the family that it's my duty to give him. I keep fixating on this. I know he tells me not to, but it's hard to stop your mind. In the moments that aren't completely filled by something else, my mind wanders around...
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