I haven't written much as the chemo has started. I was in a rather bad place, as to be expected, but the Zoloft I think has kicked in and my mood has improved. I'm halfway finished - so that's a huge thing... I feel lost in this weird vortex, where life is on hold for me - but it's moving along for everyone else.
It's a strange feeling when one's body betrays you. Logically, I know six months ago I was canoeing two days straight, with little trouble. I'm 32, in pretty good shape, despite the weight issues caused by the medicines. I've actually managed to lose just a little bit of it back (healthy loss, not sickly weight loss). This morning, though, I played with the dog a little - threw her ball a few times up and down the living room, then took her out for a walk (as in walking up and down the stairs, not a walk around the neighborhood) - and then it wiped me out. My joints ache like I'm 80 with severe arthritis.
After a long nap, I managed to do a few minutes on the wii Fit. I'm proud of myself for that. I plan to keep it up - small victories. Now, the task of vacuuming the living room and hallway seems herculean. I look forward to when this mess will be over - and I'm halfway - and hope my body returns to me too - stronger and better even.
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