It's the holidays, which makes everything seem more frantic and crazy any way - but I feel especially frantic. I only slept about 20 minutes at a time the other night. And today has been the big bowel prep and cleansing, and I haven't really done anything all day, but I still feel like time is spiraling too fast, propelling me towards this terrible thing. What probably makes it worse is that I don't really have a choice in any of it - it's not like someone with endometriosis or fibroids or cysts, where hysterectomy is just one of several options. There is no choice with this. It's cancer... it has taken all my choices away and I have no say in anything that is about to happen.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Frantic
It's the holidays, which makes everything seem more frantic and crazy any way - but I feel especially frantic. I only slept about 20 minutes at a time the other night. And today has been the big bowel prep and cleansing, and I haven't really done anything all day, but I still feel like time is spiraling too fast, propelling me towards this terrible thing. What probably makes it worse is that I don't really have a choice in any of it - it's not like someone with endometriosis or fibroids or cysts, where hysterectomy is just one of several options. There is no choice with this. It's cancer... it has taken all my choices away and I have no say in anything that is about to happen.
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