I sang this a couple years at one of our church services. I feel it's quite appropriate for me this year. We have this terrible tragedy at a school, which has my mind churning over what would happen in my school. I know my classroom is the first anyone can get to from the front door - so I always try to be aware of what I could do for my students. Then the cancer is hanging over my head, making me feel somewhat selfish. I'm only vaguely aware Christmas is on the horizon because there is a giant tree sitting in front of me, with bunches of gifts under neath, and today a ton of gifts were delivered from my coworkers at school. It was really uplifting and overwhelming how many thought of me.
Instead of counting down to Christmas with butterflies to find out what those gifts are under the tree, I'm counting down to this Friday, when we go back and find out the pathology results. I get to find out what my chances of survival are, knowing that even 95% chances in my favor can be defeated (since that's what I've managed to do so far)... I get to hear about what's going to be in store for me with the chemo and radiation. I've already decided right after the doctor, I'm going to call and make my hair appointment to have all the hair cut and then I can donate to locks of love. Maybe I should die the remaining hair some speckled green and red creation, to feel more Christmas-like? But I'm not actually going to get it cut off until after Christmas, just so the pictures don't have me looking horrible - my fat face really doesn't look good in short hair, but I'm going to make the best of it.
Meanwhile, under the column of minor annoyances - iTunes just updated and it's AWFUL!! I hate the new layout and how things are navigated. It's the most retarded thing I've ever seen! UGH!! Why the fuck do companies have to radically update shit that people like? Just some additional things to grumble about at five in the morning when I can't sleep.
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